I haven't moved from a couch in the past 72 hours except to go to sleep or the bathroom and I have come to a few realizations. Now, keep in mind that these 72 hours involved advil, vicodin, cottage cheese and ice cream to get me through what I would imagine being punched in the jaw by Mike Tyson might feel like (also known as getting your wisdom teeth out). I have watched movies, VH1 countdowns and reality shows ad naseum and have come to a few conclusions.
First: The 90s were the best. All the top hits of the 90s, the hottest hotties of the 90s, movies that recount the heydey of the 90s...why engage in actual society when you can relive it's highlights from your couch?
Second: Eating a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream (and starbucks mocha ice cream) while watching "More to Love" at first seems like a good idea until you realize how mean/sad/demeaning the show is and in turn the sad turn your life will soon take if you continue on this path.
Third: I never want to get old because existing on a diet of only soft foods is miserable. All I want to do is bite in to a huge hamburger but I a) cannot open my jaw that far b) am not allowed to eat solid food yet and c) refuse to move from this couch to get it.
Unfortunately, I return to the real world of work tomorrow and will no longer be able to memorize the HBO, Starz and VH1 line ups. For now, Runaway Bride is on which has a cameo from the dad in 10 things i hate about you, music from the dixie chicks before they pissed off the world, and a cameo by Stabler from SVU. If that isn't a recipe for perfection I don't know where else to search for meaning in my life.
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