No pants, no friends, no brush, no death

I am on vacation. My BFF is on vacation with me for a week. We made some rules.

1. No Pants.

First and foremost, this is the bible of vacation rules. Under no circumstances should you be restricted from eating anything and everything that you want. I happen to be in Hawaii, which makes pants even more unacceptable. Swim suit. Cover up. Skirt. MAYBE shorts. I own lots of pants and do love a comfy pair of jeans, but really, who prefers pants to no pants? One quote of mine from college that made it onto a post-it and onto a wall was talking about underwear choices. I hate thongs. I explained that I didn't wear them because I knew that when I got home I would just want to take off my pants and when you have roommates (who sometimes have boyfriends) that is not ok. No one expects you to be fully clothed in Hawaii and with the butt/back of the leg burns people inevitably get the LAST thing they expect you to do is wear pants.

2. No Friends.

People always think that going to Hawaii is romantic, exotic and full of Danielle Steele moments. I am here to tell you that this has NEVER happened to me. EVER. Granted, I usually come with my parents and chill on the beach with my dad which doesn't reel in the men, but the majority of people here are a) with their families, b) with their wives/girlfriends or c) under the age of 18 combined with a or b. When said BFF arrived and we were discussing laying on the beach and happy hour and she, exasperatedly, asked if we had to make friends. Immediately, I said GEEBUS NO. The whole point of vacation is freedom from having to make nice with people you have no interest in making nice with. That being said, happy hour can lead to some friendliness....but under no circumstances should you ever get yourself into a situation where you feel obligated to do anything but listen to your iPod and read. Alone.

3. No Brush.

One of the benefits of visiting said BFF is that I don't have to bring half of the things I normally bring when I travel. She has contact solution, she has face wash, she has sweatshirts, toothpaste and hair ties. I always forget to pack a brush but I know that she will have one. Well, true to form, I forgot a brush and unfortunately, so did she. Thus, No Brush was an addendum to the rules when we realized we had no brush and have not brushed our hair at all in the past 5 days. Probably has something to do with why people began mistaking us for locals. What if I came home with dreadlocks? My father would tape me down and shave my head, that's what. Shame, I like the whole no brush thing.

4. No Death.

Well, duh. No one goes on vacation to die. However, we have had some interesting experiences. First, today was all day drunk day and everyone knows things can happen on days like that. Second, we went snorkeling and saw this neat purple and gold things. Fun! Except then we realized they were much larger than we thought. And inked. And were squid. AND WERE LOOKING AT US. Somewhat terrifying. Also, I can no longer eat calamari.

So here's to winter break and making your own rules so you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Sadly, these rules go away when school/work starts again. I'm already dreading putting on a pair of pants.

...and he's down

One of the many perks of a tourist destination is the incredible people watching that goes on. There are characters galore. The trophy wives with their fake boobs, the old couples still in love, the old couples who bicker, the newlyweds, the kids loathing the family time, the families who seem so dysfunctional you wonder how they ever rallied together to make somewhere together...the list goes on and on. I was in Hawaii and saw evidence of all of the above and even befriended a few of them at happy hour. The people watching there is fantastic, mostly because you can also judge their bathing suit choices and how badly they will be burned when they wake up from their nap. One demographic that you may notice I have failed to mention is young children and babies. Sigh.
If you know me, you know children are not my preferred demographic. I don't make faces at them. I don't think when they're loud that it's a cute way to express themselves. I have no desire to be the one responsible for that kid who, in .5 seconds, went from being fine to needing a nap and throwing a tantrum instead of just nodding off. That being said, there is a small window during which I find toddlers adorable. Somewhere between a kid learning to walk and being fully mobile you find what I have termed 'stumbling children.'
They can walk on their own but don't have a firm grasp of gravity, momentum and depth perception. Which is to say, they are like drunk people, except they can't talk and you don't have to wait til 2am to see them wandering around. It's just so fun for me to watch them charging ahead typically ignoring obstacles in front of them (like people, or poles) looking like the momentum of their upper body could at any moment overtake how fast their little legs can move causing them to tumble. Fortunately, they are so short that taking a tumble is harmless and they just sit their confused as to why what they were doing didn't work. They are just fearless little explorers and I love them. Until they start crying or need a diaper change.

24

So, my 24 birthday was last week. Sorry if you thought I was going all Jack Bauer this post. 24. Very round number. Divisible by 1,2,3,4,6,8,12 & 24. Pretty solid, don't you think? I have already decided that it is going to be a great year, which hopefully hasn't jinxed me already. As I reflect, things have certainly changed in the past year. It was brought to my attention that my birthday coincides nicely with the actual new year, except my birthday being a month before gives me time to formulate new goals for the calendar new year. So, a few reflections on the past year followed by tracking my goals from last year.


1. Roommate and I have shifted from being able to finish each other's sentences to actually just saying the same things at the same time aka reading each other's minds. Next year at this time we will probably be wearing the same thing without having to coordinate. Also, we have a full living room as opposed to my birthday party last year when we had...a card table and 2 chairs.

2. I cannot drink nearly as much as I once could. I am typically in bed by 10:30. I actually do school work in advance (except for the final I'm not writing right now). I need pep talks and/or a serious occasion to go out. If that doesn't scream post-college depression/adulthood to you I don't know what does.

3. I wear real shoes 3 days a week and bought my first pair of casual pants that aren't jeans. My feet smell.

Now, what about my resolutions from last year? How did I do? Well, my only one is one that I have previously discussed. "Share your head before you share your bed."

...about that. I mean, I give myself like...a B. We won't go into numbers, percentages or personal details but let's just say this is an ongoing development and while I have shown SIGNIFICANT progress it's still not something I'd brag to Patty Stanger about. Speaking of whom...she and Steve Ward (see VH1's Tough Love 2) should really team up for the Olympic event of dating shows. I'd find a way to get myself on there, fake Daddy issues and all.

So, for next year, I have established a few things I'd like to see happen.
1. Have a real job. WHOA DREAM BIG. If one more adult tells me how bad the economy is but that it should be fine by the time I graduate I will punch them. You think I don't know these things? I know these things. It's like when you're stuck in bumper to bumper traffic and someone in the car says "wow, traffic is so bad." WAIT, REALLY!?!? When I tell people I'm done in May they might as well just say "that sucks."

2. Have a better answer than "uhhhhm-uuuh, I dunno" when people ask me what I'd like to do with my masters. The whole "oh you're young and you have time" thing is slowly becoming "get your life together..."

3. Share your head before you share your bed. Like I said, vast improvements. Perhaps operationalizing "share your head" more clearly would help?

4. Wear something other than black dress pants to work. 1 pair. 3 days a week. Rotating tops. Unacceptable.

So...there are my 24 year old thoughts. Not so different from my 23 year old thoughts. Not so big of a surprise there. Get to thinking about your new years resolutions so you can then formulate more creative ways to break them than you did last year!