1. No Pants.
First and foremost, this is the bible of vacation rules. Under no circumstances should you be restricted from eating anything and everything that you want. I happen to be in Hawaii, which makes pants even more unacceptable. Swim suit. Cover up. Skirt. MAYBE shorts. I own lots of pants and do love a comfy pair of jeans, but really, who prefers pants to no pants? One quote of mine from college that made it onto a post-it and onto a wall was talking about underwear choices. I hate thongs. I explained that I didn't wear them because I knew that when I got home I would just want to take off my pants and when you have roommates (who sometimes have boyfriends) that is not ok. No one expects you to be fully clothed in Hawaii and with the butt/back of the leg burns people inevitably get the LAST thing they expect you to do is wear pants.
2. No Friends.
People always think that going to Hawaii is romantic, exotic and full of Danielle Steele moments. I am here to tell you that this has NEVER happened to me. EVER. Granted, I usually come with my parents and chill on the beach with my dad which doesn't reel in the men, but the majority of people here are a) with their families, b) with their wives/girlfriends or c) under the age of 18 combined with a or b. When said BFF arrived and we were discussing laying on the beach and happy hour and she, exasperatedly, asked if we had to make friends. Immediately, I said GEEBUS NO. The whole point of vacation is freedom from having to make nice with people you have no interest in making nice with. That being said, happy hour can lead to some friendliness....but under no circumstances should you ever get yourself into a situation where you feel obligated to do anything but listen to your iPod and read. Alone.
3. No Brush.
One of the benefits of visiting said BFF is that I don't have to bring half of the things I normally bring when I travel. She has contact solution, she has face wash, she has sweatshirts, toothpaste and hair ties. I always forget to pack a brush but I know that she will have one. Well, true to form, I forgot a brush and unfortunately, so did she. Thus, No Brush was an addendum to the rules when we realized we had no brush and have not brushed our hair at all in the past 5 days. Probably has something to do with why people began mistaking us for locals. What if I came home with dreadlocks? My father would tape me down and shave my head, that's what. Shame, I like the whole no brush thing.
4. No Death.
Well, duh. No one goes on vacation to die. However, we have had some interesting experiences. First, today was all day drunk day and everyone knows things can happen on days like that. Second, we went snorkeling and saw this neat purple and gold things. Fun! Except then we realized they were much larger than we thought. And inked. And were squid. AND WERE LOOKING AT US. Somewhat terrifying. Also, I can no longer eat calamari.
So here's to winter break and making your own rules so you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Sadly, these rules go away when school/work starts again. I'm already dreading putting on a pair of pants.
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