There are a lot of things in the world that I do not understand. Specifically, scientific things and design issues. For instance, why did Apple put their video camera on the nano on the bottom of the device where we have grown accustomed to holding it because the cameras on all their other devices are on the top? Why have we not developed a washer/dryer that has a sensor to let you know if you’ve left someone in it to avoid that rogue wet sock or, even worse, dry sock left in the college dorm dryer never to be seen again?
Then, there are things that work and I have no idea why or how they work. I recently discovered how my toilet functions because the chain kept coming off through a series of events I will not detail I deemed it necessary to stare at my toilet do it’s work for roughly 15 minutes. I have googled “hybrid engine” on multiple occasions with multiple people and still could not tell you how the battery part recharges without being plugged in and why the engine doesn’t have to work twice as hard. On a far more simplistic level, I’d like to talk to you about pens.
I love pens. I love all different kinds of pens and can spend hours browsing the pen and pencil isle at staples, target, office depot or ralphs. Through all of my schooling, and before everyone brought laptops to class, I came to find that I prefer clicky pens. I lose caps, don’t know where to put the cap when I’m using the pen and generally just don’t enjoy them. Clicky pens allow me to write and stop writing with just a click instead of having to remove and/or replace a cap They also give me something to occupy myself (and annoy those around me) when I am fidgety. Now here come’s my question, why don’t clicky pens dry out more rapidly than capped ones?
Stick with me here, when you leave a pen (sharpie, marker, ball point, what have you) uncapped for long enough it dries out and cannot be resurrected. Look at a clickly pen. The top is not secure. The tip isn’t directly exposed to air, but it is centimeters away from it…so…what gives? They make clicky Sharpies too and while I have never experimented with how long they last I would venture a guess that they wouldn’t make them if their quality was significantly inferior to the capped ones.
Maybe capped pens do last longer but I’ve just never used a single pen long enough to notice a difference? I don’t think so. I’m staring at my clicky highlighters now too and am even more perplexed.
HOW DO THEY DO IT????
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Do Assholes Really Finish First?
I read this interesting article today while I wasn't doing my job and it got me thinking about my history of assholes. I am certainly guilty of being attracted to assholes and walking into situations that can only end poorly fully knowing that I will probably be "that girl" in the morning. Since graduating from college I have begun to reform my ways, repeating to myself "they are SUPPOSED to be nice to you" on many occasions and since New Years 2009 have been (attempting to) live by the guru of dating, Patti Stanger's, words "Share your head before you share your bed." Well, as well intentioned as that was, let's just say I'm able to sleep horizontally in my queen sized bed without worrying I will be in the way of anyone else...and it's getting old. Old as in about where L Lohan will be when she wears clothes that flatter her again and doesn't find herself under "hot mess" on urbandictionary.com.
I've hashed out a lot of follow-ups about being single in LA *whine whine whine* and how guys can be assholes but girls can't be bitches *complain complain complain* and that ultimately you just need someone who makes you laugh and brings out the best in you *sap sap sap*.
So, read the article. Share thoughts, or don't, whatevs. Either way, I'd still like to get myself on Millionaire Matchmaker so Patti will find me love.
I've hashed out a lot of follow-ups about being single in LA *whine whine whine* and how guys can be assholes but girls can't be bitches *complain complain complain* and that ultimately you just need someone who makes you laugh and brings out the best in you *sap sap sap*.
So, read the article. Share thoughts, or don't, whatevs. Either way, I'd still like to get myself on Millionaire Matchmaker so Patti will find me love.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
COOTIES
I've always heard about people who are germaphobic. Don't like hugging, shaking hands, always have Purell on them, but I've never encountered one first hand. I don't consider myself a dirty person, per se, but I'm not overly conscious about picking something up off my floor or making s'mores with a real stick from the ground instead of some metal contraption. I suppose my feeling is that if our species could make it this far, things out in the world can't be THAT bad.
My supervisor at work is germaphobe. Any time someone comes in to work with a slight cough, a stuffy nose or a hoarse voice her first words are "oh-my-gosh-are-you-sick!?!?" as she backs away not so subtly. I have allergies which puts everyone in a tizzy when they act up and this past weekend I lost my voice but was able to convince them that no, it wasn't H1N1 and no, I did not need to go home. When flu season broke out, I walked in on her Purell wiping a pen that a client had just used. She once "snapped" (in a non attitudey way) at me about having put a stack of papers on the bathroom floor while I relieved myself. Still unsure as to where else they were supposed to go. After that, she practically smashed her elbow into the bathroom door to hold it for someone, because touching the handle or door would clearly cause her to contract Hepatitis A. The thing that cracks me up most about people who flush with their foot and use a paper towel to open doors is that they...touch money, open non-bathroom doors normally and, my personal favorite, fly on airplanes. If that isn't a cesspool of potential infestation, I don't know what is.
Anywho, the point is that since I have such a germaphobe supervisor I've started to realize the things I do that most see as unsanitary. You know, the things you do that you think everyone else does but when you mention it you just get these stares of disgust and confusion? For instance, wearing deoderant. I know that isn't a sanitation thing, but I've something I just never added to my daily routine. I've traced it back to the fact that I was a swimmer so whenever I was sweaty, I was in the water and reeked of chlorine whenever I wasn't so body odor really wasn't an issue. Since then, I have learned that when going out or a football game or something it's probably a good idea to put some on.
The most embarrassing, yet normal to me, confession of non sanitary living is that I don't use toilet seat covers. Now, before you go judging me and thinking I've crossed a line, let me explain myself. I never recall being told I was supposed to use them. I'd always see them and be like hmm...this toilet looks clean and dry...and I need to pee...whelp here we go. There have definitely been times when I've looked down and been like NO GO NO GO and I line it with toilet paper if no covers are available, but really? It just adds another step before or after having to unbutton, unzip, lower and sit down. All I really want to do is pee and and the faster I do it the faster I'm no longer sitting on an uncovered toilet seat. How do you even know where the covers came from? Or the paper towels, for that matter? What happens in the factories? I mean, the possibilities are endless for disgusting activities.
If someone is sick, I don't make out with their cup. Or them (just in case you were concerned). If something drops in the dirt or the floor and you can visibly see things on it, I don't eat it. I have limits, I just don't see the need to make your own personal germ bubble. I get sick on occasion but in general I'm a healthy normal person who takes sick pleasure in watching people go out of their way to wash their hands and open a door without making any physical contact with their hands. Perhaps next year it'll be an Olympic sport?
My supervisor at work is germaphobe. Any time someone comes in to work with a slight cough, a stuffy nose or a hoarse voice her first words are "oh-my-gosh-are-you-sick!?!?" as she backs away not so subtly. I have allergies which puts everyone in a tizzy when they act up and this past weekend I lost my voice but was able to convince them that no, it wasn't H1N1 and no, I did not need to go home. When flu season broke out, I walked in on her Purell wiping a pen that a client had just used. She once "snapped" (in a non attitudey way) at me about having put a stack of papers on the bathroom floor while I relieved myself. Still unsure as to where else they were supposed to go. After that, she practically smashed her elbow into the bathroom door to hold it for someone, because touching the handle or door would clearly cause her to contract Hepatitis A. The thing that cracks me up most about people who flush with their foot and use a paper towel to open doors is that they...touch money, open non-bathroom doors normally and, my personal favorite, fly on airplanes. If that isn't a cesspool of potential infestation, I don't know what is.
Anywho, the point is that since I have such a germaphobe supervisor I've started to realize the things I do that most see as unsanitary. You know, the things you do that you think everyone else does but when you mention it you just get these stares of disgust and confusion? For instance, wearing deoderant. I know that isn't a sanitation thing, but I've something I just never added to my daily routine. I've traced it back to the fact that I was a swimmer so whenever I was sweaty, I was in the water and reeked of chlorine whenever I wasn't so body odor really wasn't an issue. Since then, I have learned that when going out or a football game or something it's probably a good idea to put some on.
The most embarrassing, yet normal to me, confession of non sanitary living is that I don't use toilet seat covers. Now, before you go judging me and thinking I've crossed a line, let me explain myself. I never recall being told I was supposed to use them. I'd always see them and be like hmm...this toilet looks clean and dry...and I need to pee...whelp here we go. There have definitely been times when I've looked down and been like NO GO NO GO and I line it with toilet paper if no covers are available, but really? It just adds another step before or after having to unbutton, unzip, lower and sit down. All I really want to do is pee and and the faster I do it the faster I'm no longer sitting on an uncovered toilet seat. How do you even know where the covers came from? Or the paper towels, for that matter? What happens in the factories? I mean, the possibilities are endless for disgusting activities.
If someone is sick, I don't make out with their cup. Or them (just in case you were concerned). If something drops in the dirt or the floor and you can visibly see things on it, I don't eat it. I have limits, I just don't see the need to make your own personal germ bubble. I get sick on occasion but in general I'm a healthy normal person who takes sick pleasure in watching people go out of their way to wash their hands and open a door without making any physical contact with their hands. Perhaps next year it'll be an Olympic sport?
Monday, October 05, 2009
Farmville
From time to time, as they do, fads EXPLODE on the scene and permeate every form of media outlet and then slink away into obsolete obscurity. The latest, I have decided, is the increasingly popular Farmville facebook application. For those of you living under a rock, it is basically a SIM knock off which enables you to build up a farm with crops, machinery, animals and other things you find on a farm. Being a huge computer nerd, I own many of the SIMs creations (sim tower, copter, city, THE sims and probably others I've forgotten) so I instantly saw the appeal of Farmville and soon gave in and started Sam's Farm (creativity at its finest).
Now, as fads often do, Farmville is now being referenced throughout the media. It pops up in TFLN (a fad in and of itself), on twitter (fad?), FML, on Facebook and I'm sure in time there will be an AC360 special on college students skipping class to go home to harvest their crops or losing their lives to the online drain that is Farmville (like the bit on a boy who lost his life to Warcraft/internet addiction). I see how this can happen. Your crops grow in real time, but society expects us to have this silly concept they call "responsibility" which causes you to neglect your raspberries that mature in 2 hours. I miscalculated time once and had to have my best friend log in to my facebook to harvest my pumpkins because my work computer doesn't have Flash on it--which is a ranty blog post of its own.
I am very much enjoying my Farm and recently bought a scarecrow and a plow machine. Saving up for the harvester and seeder. The issue is, that eventually I will have all of those things and reach higher levels where I can plant every option and there is no incentive to keep my farm going. It's like in the Sims games when you get your Sim every promotion, buy them all the nicest things, get them a family and tons of friends...or you find the cheat codes and the fun ends much sooner than doing it the real way. Either way, the feeling when you exhaust a game is such a let down I can't even describe it. It's like when you work really hard on a homework assignment and then the teacher forgets to collect it and you're like...whimpery and you have this farm you built up but no one to appreciate it anymore.
So, I have many more things to buy on my farm and I haven't even bought Sims 3 yet but I really hope people are already developing the newest fad to allow me to escape into a fantasy world where all I need to do is harvest my farmland or feed my Sims and things are all ok.
Now, as fads often do, Farmville is now being referenced throughout the media. It pops up in TFLN (a fad in and of itself), on twitter (fad?), FML, on Facebook and I'm sure in time there will be an AC360 special on college students skipping class to go home to harvest their crops or losing their lives to the online drain that is Farmville (like the bit on a boy who lost his life to Warcraft/internet addiction). I see how this can happen. Your crops grow in real time, but society expects us to have this silly concept they call "responsibility" which causes you to neglect your raspberries that mature in 2 hours. I miscalculated time once and had to have my best friend log in to my facebook to harvest my pumpkins because my work computer doesn't have Flash on it--which is a ranty blog post of its own.
I am very much enjoying my Farm and recently bought a scarecrow and a plow machine. Saving up for the harvester and seeder. The issue is, that eventually I will have all of those things and reach higher levels where I can plant every option and there is no incentive to keep my farm going. It's like in the Sims games when you get your Sim every promotion, buy them all the nicest things, get them a family and tons of friends...or you find the cheat codes and the fun ends much sooner than doing it the real way. Either way, the feeling when you exhaust a game is such a let down I can't even describe it. It's like when you work really hard on a homework assignment and then the teacher forgets to collect it and you're like...whimpery and you have this farm you built up but no one to appreciate it anymore.
So, I have many more things to buy on my farm and I haven't even bought Sims 3 yet but I really hope people are already developing the newest fad to allow me to escape into a fantasy world where all I need to do is harvest my farmland or feed my Sims and things are all ok.
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